If you’re a woman and your losing your hair, you probably feel like your world is ending. I have been where you are and with time and some grit, you will get though this. One day, you'll look back and your not going to believe the incredible woman your hair loss forced you to become! In this simple, step-by-step guide, you'll see how I embraced my hair loss. By the end, my hope is that you feel comforted, inspired and walk away with some insights.

WHAT IS ALOPECIA?

Alopecia doesn't need much introduction because about 2% of the worlds populations will experience it at some point in their lifetime. Nearly 6.7 million people in the U.S. and 160 million worldwide have alopecia or have had, or will have it. About 700,000 people in the U.S. currently have some form of alopecia. Despite, these facts, many women feel incredibly sad about their hair loss

Alopecia is a medical term that refers to hair loss in the form of a patch or spot, caused by an autoimmune condition that attacks hair follicles. Many of us with alopecia want a medical diagnosis so that we can understand why this has happened to us, but the sad reality is that medically field, understand very little about why alopecia occurs. Many of us struggle to come to terms with our hair loss and we feel vastly misunderstood.

There are different types of alopecia, each with its own unique challenges. Androgenetic alopecia is the most common type of alopecia, also known as male or female pattern baldness. It occurs when hair follicles shrink over time, leading to thinning hair or baldness. Alopecia areata is an autoimmune disorder that causes hair to fall out in small, round patches. In some cases, it can progress to total scalp hair loss, known as alopecia totalis, or even loss of all body hair, including eyelashes and eyebrows, known as alopecia universalis. Telogen effluvium is a type of hair loss that occurs when a large number of hair follicles enter the resting phase of the hair growth cycle simultaneously, causing hair to shed extremely fast. Finally, traction alopecia is caused by repetitive pulling or tension on the hair, often due to tight hairstyles or hair extensions, and can lead to permanent hair loss if not treated early. Scarring alopecia is a rare type of permanent alopecia that destroys hair follicles and replaces them with scar tissue, preventing hair growth. It’s important to note, that alopecia is really just a fancy word for hair loss and there are many other reasons for hair loss. For example, lupus, cancer, thyroid, burns, infections and other autoimmune conditions can cause hair loss.

MY HAIR LOSS STORY | ALOPECIA - GOING BALD DURING PREGNANCY

Like, many of us, I have no family history or personal history with hair loss.  Actually, it's quite the opposite, I am the only one in my family with hair loss, yet, I am the healthiest. I work out, eat vegetables, do yoga, etc. I am and was a healthy person, yet, I was the one going bald.

My life changed unexpectedly in the eighth month of my second pregnancy. I was sick with the flu and lost 18 pounds in two weeks. Everyone was worried about the baby because his birthrate fell below 10%, which is dangerous for brain development. The next thing I knew, I was in and out of doctors offices and hospitals every other day, my baby was being monitored and I was having daily conversations about the risks of keeping the baby in my tummy or doing an emergency c-section. It was stressful. Around this time, I noticed a small bald spot at the top of my head and then within twenty days, I lost eighty percent of the hair on my head. My hair loss is rapid, extreme, almost violent, in fact. None of my doctors knew why this was happening to me - they all said, maybe it's extreme malnutrition; basically everything nutrient was going to the baby and I was falling apart. The worst was that they couldn't offer me anything about my hair loss. I couldn't take steroids or injections because of the baby. I just had to let it happen. As terrible, as this time was, I focused on the baby. The only thing I wanted was a healthy baby and to deliver at term. The next thing I knew, I got a expensive "custom" topper, I worn a hat and tried real hard not think about my hair loss.

The first couple of months, to say, I was in denial, is an extreme understatement. No way was my hair loss going to be a permanent thing. After the baby was born, everything would be fine and I would be me again. Well, my son was born, I carried him to 39 weeks and he was healthy as can be. But, me, I was not doing so well. 

FOUR MONTHS POST POSTPARTUM

Little did I know, that the worst was yet to come, four months postpartum, when most women are battling postpartum depression due to hormonal imbalances, within a week, I lost everything (eyebrows, eyelashes, etc)! This was my rock bottom and I honestly have no idea how I made it though. I was convinced that my husband would leave me, that my kids are going to be treated differently (I still struggle with that) and that I wasn't going to be able to make money that I made prior because I was a bald women. I mean, for me, being a bald women was so foreign to me, it was unheard of. I endlessly started searching on google for, bald women, just to find anyone who was a women and who was bald like me. I started looking for a, WIG. I couldn't even say the word wig out loud. The thought of being young in a wig just seemed like a death sentence. I just wanted to be me again. I just wanted my hair back but their was nothing that the Doctors could do for me.

MY FIRST WIG

Wig shopping when your a women going bald is not fun but doing it with a newborn was unbearable.  I wanted to be going to Mommy meetups, it's not at all what I thought my "maternity" leave would be. I can't begin to explain how awful 90% of the wigs are on the market. How confusing buying a wig is and how you are treated at the majority of wig shops across the US. I settled on a synthetic, which I later learned was two sizes to big and the itchiest wig ever! I will never forget going on a dinner date with my husband to celebrate and I was so uncomfortable that I just couldn't take it. He told me to just take it off but I couldn't. We left and I just started crying in the car. My wig life was miserable, crushing and I became OBSESSED with learning as much as I could about wigs.  I just couldn't believe that these were the wigs that is women were actually wearing! 

SUPPORT

I realized pretty quickly that I needed support. While my loved ones and friends were supportive, I found it hard for them to truly understand what I was going through. I didn't want drain our relationship by always talking about my "hair loss". I wanted them to just treat me the way that they used to because, after all, I was still me and I just wanted to forget about being bald. I also think that my husband, Mom and Dad were also coming to terms with me being bald. They were coping with my hair loss alongside me so supporting me was a challenge. I mean I had a newborn and I was bald.. 

I guess, I need to find my own path, my own support, my own "people", I had to look beyond my immediate circle of family and friends to get the support that I needed. When I lost my hair, my mind went to the worst places, I was filled with uncertainty, filled with fear and self doubt. I found it incredibly uplifting and powerful to see other women proudly rocking their bald heads in public, on runways, and in fashion magazines! I know it seems strange but it helped me to see bald women because I aspired to be like these women who embraced their new reality and these images were a major source of inspiration for me. Then I turned to Youtube, TedTalks and eventually Instagram. I started learning about how wig life and how to life with alopecia!

THE BRAVE SHAVE | LETTING GO OF WHAT WAS & EMBRACING WHAT IS

Alopecia has a funny way of mastering you. It has a tendency to consume you and take over every single aspect of your life. Hair is much more than vanity; it is how we identify people; everyone is born with it; it is part of you so when you lose it, it hurts. It is as if you lost a major part of yourself. The best example that I can give you is that having alopecia is like being topless in a room full of people who are not topless; basically, everyone looks at you and wonders why you are topless. It's unknown, unheard of, and different for women to be bald. We instinctively feel and know that we are, in fact, different. Therefore, our immediate gut reaction is to conceal or hide our hair loss. But here is the thing: someday, somehow, people will find out about your hair loss and going to great lengths to conceal or hide it will slowly wear you down and your alopecia will eventually consume you.

As time passed and my hair did not grow back, I had to accept this new version of myself. It can be challenging to let go of what was and accept what is, but doing so can be empowering, freeing, and inspirational! For me, the daily hair loss was the hardest part - seeing the strands of my hair on the floor, saving the hair. Yes, I saved my hair. It seemed like the right thing to do. But, the day I shaved my head, was the day that I embraced my new reality and I let go of what was (I wrote a blog post about it here). It freed me; shaving my head allowed me to move on. Shaving your head as a women is strange but every woman that I met that has done it, talks about how better they felt afterwards because it allowed them to move on. They decided to embrace what is and let go of what was. 

FINDING MY NEW WHY AND PURPOSE

I couldn't stop talking about wigs so I decided to attend a conference to learn more about running a wig boutique and that is where, I found, my new path. I met a woman who convinced me to start selling wigs.  For two years, I helped guide women into wig life and my clients meant everything to me. They became my why. I enjoyed spending time with them, seeing their transformations from hating hair loss to embracing it. But, as much as I helped them, my clients also really helped heal me. They showed me over and over again how amazing women are, even when their life is at the lowest of lows. Every moment, I would say, I just want to help them; I just want them to realize that wig life doesn't have to be awful and how being bald is actually pretty convenient and dare I say fun!  This eventually led to the creation of Encelia Hair, where I design and manufacture my own patent pending wig line. 

From there, my kids became my “why”; I needed to show my daughter and son that I mastered my alopecia instead of it mastering me. I wanted them to see a mother who embraced the cards she was dealt and made the best of a bad situation.  I made a conscious choice to go bald at home and eventually in public (even though I didn't want to) just so my children would see me as I am . I wanted them to see that their mother wasn't afraid of being different. Once a month, I decided not to wear a wig all day, boy was that hard! I scheduled a photo session with my kids because I wanted a beautiful picture of my bald head with them. And hardest of all, every morning I decided to put on my makeup bald. I would look in the mirror and say, I am Allison - I am a beautiful bald woman, I am thoughtful, I am resilient, etc.

You do not have to do these things; I am only sharing them to help you think about ways that you can let go of who you were and embrace who you are becoming. Ask yourself, what type of bald woman do you want to be? When your children, family and friends hear the word alopecia or bald woman, what do you want them to think of? Dream up the most amazing woman and then do everything in your power to become her! That is how you will master your alopecia, instead of it mastering you.

My alopecia was and continues to be a challenge, but slowly you will find ways get through it, you will have little wins, which, in the end, will add up to big wins and I believe that is how we can master our alopecia.

Much Love,

Allison founder of Encelia Hair